I skipped work to stalk him.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
