Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You can't just leave with hair like that
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
