Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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