So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
