haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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