i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is it because I queefed?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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