What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
