Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
