I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
