we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
