If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
