Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
