he wants to bone in the snuggie
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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