office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
