he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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