Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize