don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
