Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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