I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
