i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
