found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
