You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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