Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
