I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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