Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
