She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize