Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
