this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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