just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We're too hungover to prance.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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