We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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