Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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