Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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