Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She told me I should be a condom model.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
