Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
