I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
