I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
