How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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