What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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