Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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