Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
