i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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