you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
