how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
