Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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