It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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