Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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