I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
