i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
