Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
