I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
