Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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