yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
