hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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