I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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