As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
