Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
