What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
