Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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