ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
