my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
