I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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