He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize