Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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