I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
