you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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